Before I get started, let me mention a couple of other things going on today. First of all, I’m part of the Mystic Month of May Blog Hop, brought to you by the Colorado Romance Writers. Today’s stop is here. I’m also a guest today over at Riverina Romantics, which happens to be another stop on the Hop Against Homophobia. I’m giving away a book over there too, so please stop by. For a list of all the stops on the Hop Against Homophobia, click the rainbow badge above. There are nearly 250 participating blogs, all offering prizes. Now, onward…
A couple of years ago my husband and I were out for dinner with our daughter (who was about five at the time) and my parents. My daughter told us how her friends at school liked to chase the boys and kiss them. My mom said, “Don’t you kiss the boys?” My daughter said, “No, I don’t want to kiss boys. The only person I want to kiss is Courtney.”
I’ll never forget the look on my mother’s face, and the way she started to say, “No.” Even after my husband and I cut her off and told our daughter, “That’s fine,” my mother kept trying to tell my daughter how girls should only kiss boys. Luckily, my kiddo was too busy eating her French fries to pay much attention to her grandmother.
Much more recently, I introduced my daughter (now seven) to my female massage therapist and her wife. Afterward, my daughter said to me, “A boy can marry a girl, and a boy can marry a boy, but I didn’t know a girl could marry a girl.” I didn’t go into the legal complications of same-sex marriage. Instead, I simply said, “They love each other. They should be able to get married, right?” She said, “So I can marry a girl when I grow up?” I told her, “If that’s what you want.” (I sure as hell hope it’s legal by then!) She said, “Okay,” and promptly went on to talk about things she considered to be far more important, like whether or not we could stop for ice cream on the way home.
My point here is not to say that my daughter is obviously gay. She’s only a kid, and who knows what will happen with the advent of puberty. My point is this: in her mind, there’s nothing strange or confusing about it at all. Boys can love boys. Girls can love girls. And if people are in love, they can get married. It’s that simple.
I guess I’d just like it to be that way. Why can’t everybody accept this beautifully simple concept with the calm levelheadedness of my kid?
But of course, some people can’t. Some people are threatened by something as simple as two people being in love. And that hatred destroys lives. If at any point anybody should doubt the power of homophobia, we need only be reminded of Matthew Shepard.
If there’s anybody reading this who doesn’t know the story of Matthew Shepard, please go read it. I live in Fort Collins. Our local hospital is where they brought Matthew after he was found bloody and beaten and tied to that fence in Wyoming. Of course, we know now the details of what happened to him, but what I really remember about that day was the confusion. I can remember feeling like my town was reeling, horrified, wondering how such an awful thing could have happened in our own backyard. I remember feeling like all of Fort Collins was pulling for him.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough.
It seems like just about every week, there’s a new story of how homophobia has taken a new victim. One need only read the news to see how bad things can be. I don’t know how to fix it, other than to say, it’s time for it to stop. It’s time for people to stand up for what’s right.
I know there are a lot of contests going on today. I know there are lots of things being given away. What I’d like to ask you is, what can you give? And to that end, I’ve decided to do this:
To enter my contest:
- Donate $5 (or more) to the Matthew Shepard Foundation. You’ll received a confirmation email from them.
- Forward that email to me at msexton.author@gmail.com. (The email doesn’t contain any of your personal payment information, I promise.)
- For every $5 you donate, you’ll be entered in my drawing. That means if you donate $20, you’ll be entered four times.
- The contest ends on May 20th. At that point, I will draw a winner.
- The winner will receive a Matthew Shepard Pendant (it’s also available on a pink cord), as well as 2 ebooks of their choice from my backlist. I’ll announce the winner here on my blog, and I’ll notify them via email.
Thank you for stopping by. Thank you for donating. Thank you for standing up for what’s right.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and posting about this foundation, as it was one I hadn’t heard of. I’ve forwarded my confirmation email to you, and want to thank for taking part of this. I hope that one day soon, everyone else will look on equality much the same way as your daughter, because it really should be that simple. hugs!
I love that you are being accepting of everything your daughter is. If only everyone were like this. I too already told my daughter that it is fine whoever she ends up loving.
And I love the way you are running your contest! I have donated to this cause before, and will continue to do so.
Wonderful post and such a great cause. (I did donate and forwarded the email to you). Matthew Shephard’s life should never be forgotten and his foundation is doing such good work. I pray for the day that no other such foundation will have to be started because the day has finally come that society understands that everyone is equal and no human deserves such acts of atrocity just because of being attracted to someone of the same sex.
Wonderful post, Marie
Your daughter is lucky to have you. I only learned about Matthew Shepard last year, as I’m not from the USA. I’m sure the news traveled here, but back in 1998 I was busy being young and ignorant, just staring university. His story is truly tragic. I’ve donated and sent you mail.
Kids see things in such a true and incisive way. Obviously two people who love each other should be allowed to marry – simple as that!
A wonderful post and a very worthwhile cause.
I am afraid I will have to abstain from the contest though. I am already donating via my own post to the It Gets Better project this blog hop and since I am doing a $1 per comment donation and rounding up to the nearest $10 I am not sure how much it is going to cost until after the event is over.
If I have the funds after the end of the hop I will certainly be donating to this cause though (as well as the Trevor Project) as they were the three sites I was torn between when choosing which to support financially this weekend.
I actually considered doing $1 per comment left! LOL. Good luck!
“and a child shall lead the way” Maybe we should let the kids write the laws. I would love to donate but alas I must donate to the landlord and the electric company and the grocer, doesn’t leave me much in discretionary funds. SS only goes so far.
“in her mind, there’s nothing strange or confusing about it at all. Boys can love boys. Girls can love girls. And if people are in love, they can get married. It’s that simple.” Exactly. It is that simple!
I hope sooner than your daughter’s marriage to her life partner, we get equality. Keep fighting and thank you for participating in this hop! Matthew Sheppard’s story changed my life forever. It still breaks my heart to think about.
Thank you again,
Bella
bellaleone4 at gmail dot com
http://www.bellaleonebooks.com
I like how simple you said this… “My point here is not to say that my daughter is obviously gay. She’s only a kid, and who knows what will happen with the advent of puberty. My point is this: in her mind, there’s nothing strange or confusing about it at all. Boys can love boys. Girls can love girls. And if people are in love, they can get married. It’s that simple.”
Oh if it were only that easy!
Thank you for participating in the blog hop! I was glad to stop by.
Wade
Thanks, Wade, and thanks for stopping by!
It’s so wonderful when kids can grow up being accepting. A while ago, my 9 year old became very indignant when she learned that her aunt can’t marry her girlfriend. “That’s so stupid!” she said–and she was right.
She is right. It really is stupid.
Thanks for stopping by!
She is right. It really is stupid.
Thanks for stopping by!
That’s fabulous, Marie, that your little girl can look at life and love so simply. May she always look at it in that way. She’s far too young to predict her sexuality, but whatever it is, I know you’ll support, as I support my two daughters who are bi, and my two sons who are straight. After all, it doesn’t matter, as long as they’re happy.
Thanks for being part of the blog!
Julie
Thanks, Julie!
Great post! Brought tears to my eyes. I’m from Denver and i remember when it happened. We were devastated. I remember sitting there with my friends right after we talked about what happened. There was this incredibly long silence and just no one speaking, no one laughing, no one even lifting their drinks. I’ll never forget it.
I know what you mean. Thanks for stopping by, Dani.
Wonderful post and great cause, Marie!
Thanks, Helen!
Very interesting post! Being a Brit, I hadn’t heard about Matthew Shepard until recently. I was writing about a gay cowboy in Wyoming, googled and found the terrible and tragic story about Matthew. I was horrified. It would be good to think it wouldn’t happen again, but it has. Not often, but once is too much! Lessons taught at home in the way you did, are the perfect way to bring up children to be open minded.
Thanks Barbara! And thanks for stopping by.
Every time I hear a child react like that, my heart fills with hope. And I also hope nobody will teach that child anything different.
Also, great contest. Wish I’d have thought of it!
Thanks, Zahra!
Great post Marie and a great cause to donate to! Thanks for being part of the hop.
What I meant to say was thanks for taking part in the hop.
(it’s very late)
Thanks, Lisa!