Once again, I bring you snark direct from the lips of Jules Verne!
One of our nets had hauled up a type of very flat ray that weighed some twenty kilograms and with its tail cut off, it would have formed a perfect disc. It was white underneath and reddish on top, with big round spots of deep blue encircled in black, its hide quite smooth and ending in a double-lobed fin. Laid out on the platform, it kept struggling with convulsive movements, trying to turn over, making such efforts that its final lunge was about to flip it into the sea. But Conseil, being very possessive of his fish, rushed at it, and before I could stop him, he seized it with both hands.
Instantly there he was, thrown on his back, legs in the air, his body half paralysed, and yelling, “Oh, sir, sir! Will you help me?”
For once in his life, the poor lad didn’t address me ‘in the third person’.
The Canadian and I sat him up. We massaged his contracted arms, and when he regained his five senses, that eternal classifier mumbled in a broken voice, “Class of cartilaginous fish, order Chondropterygia with fixed gills, suborder Selacia, family Rajiiforma, genus electric ray.”
“Yes, my friend,” I answered, “it was an electric ray that put you in this deplorable state.”
“Oh, Master can trust me on this,” Conseil shot back. “I’ll be revenged on that animal.”
“How?”
“I’ll eat it.”
Which he did that same evening, but strictly as retaliation. Because, frankly, it tasted like leather.
You can buy Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea: A Clandestine Classic from Total E-Bound here. Or from Amazon here.
This is a blog hop of sorts, so authors, JOIN IN! Put up a quick post on your blog with a snarky line (or two or three) from one of your books. Important: Be sure you enter your link into the linky tool below. Also, be sure to include a link back to this post so your readers can check out all the snarky links.
Readers, leave a comment here about one of the other snarky entries, and I’ll enter you in a drawing to win an ebook of either Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea or Saviours of Oestend. Keep checking back for new links, and comment often! :-)
OMG, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late to my own blog! LOL.
The winner (chosen by random selection) is Joanne B! Joanne, I’ll email you about claiming our prize. As always, thanks very much to all of the authors who participated. I have snark set up for about the next four weeks, so please come back again! And to the readers, I thank you most of all. This really is all about you.
ROFLMAO! omg– I had no idea that Zoomboy totally stole the show! I myself was leaning toward Eden’s quote… “suck the sheets straight up my ass, city boy!” HEEEEE!!!
That was a close second for me but Zoomboy was definitely #1, lol! How old is he, he reminds me of my son!
He’s a rather precocious eight;-)
It’s great to see the snark again.
They were all good, but I did enjoy Amy’s Zoomboy snark and Eden’s “Oh, baby, I bet you could suck the sheets straight up my ass, city boy” the most.
Loved Sidecar! I just added it to the top of my to-read list
I look forward to Saturday Snark. I tried to leave a comment about Zoomboy but I didn’t have the requirements. Hey I’m technically challenged! This has also made me look up two books to buy and read. Good job, Marie!
It’s good to be here.
I’m so glad the snark is back! I missed it!
I just discovered it last week and love it! And you talking bout Lucky and Bo is making me want to re-read Diversion!
I remember grinning from ear to ear when I first read Lucky’s “bet you could suck the sheets straight up my ass, city boy” line in DIVERSION. On the other hand, M.A. Church snared me with the “overgrown octopus” and “big ole rutting alien” epithets. And as someone who has a tendency to say “thingy” herself, Gray Peterson’s excerpt had me nodding my head shamefully. Just an embarrassment of riches all around!
Pingback: Le Snark de Samedi | Gray Peterson
LMAO! Once again, loving all the blurbs, but the hands down best was Amy’s Zoomboy story! I can literally see it happening in the middle of the store! Thanks again for the Saturday Snark, Miss Marie, it makes me chuckle. And thanks to all the authors who add their links!